family

Holidays-Missing Loved Ones

I have always loved Holidays! A day off of work to spend with family, is how we always spent our holidays! Usually eating, talking and laughing… a lot 🤭 😊🤣and just being together! I really gave a great family that we love to spend time with!

But since my dad passed away, I kind of dread a Holiday. Yes, I think of my dad everyday, talk to him everyday and a lot of times cry! But Holidays, is just a huge reminder that we have this piece missing. My mom comes and leaves alone, I’m not thinking about what food to make sure and have for dad, or what he’d like to drink… and the list goes on and on of the thoughts that run through my mind. And I just miss him more on days like today! Oh and Thanksgiving and Christmas, can I just skip this year?! And maybe next?! Please 😓

I know, I know , I can’t skip! That’s not fair to my kiddos and that is for sure, NOT what God wants of me! I always ask God for the strength and grace to get through this season because I need all the help I can get. But come on, it is Tough!

And I hear from many that it gets easier as time goes by but I have felt as the days and months go on without my dad, it’s been getting harder and harder! maybe more realization that he is not coming back? Not sure. But I miss him! I just miss him. 😞

And then here comes my positive outlook and my hope; that I do truly believe That Gods got this! He is something that I can always count on to be there and I am blessed to have a Heavenly Father like that! But I’ll be honest, it’s hard some times to believe that! and I think that’s okay, because we all go through rough patches and maybe what WE want isn’t Gods plan. God has a plan and reasoning that my father passed away and yes, I am suffering through this grief. But man, look at Jesus and what he endured, but he still trusted his father and dying for you and me on the cross, was the ultimate sacrifice! But he trusted his Father and that is how I know God will take of us and I CAN make it through this!

Gods got this!! ( and that is what my earthly father always taught me as well!)

Miss you dad 🖤

(Many ask why I use a black heart all the time, in reference, to my dad – and Black is the color for melanoma cancer awareness, that my dad passed away from)

Mom Life

Library…failure 🙄

I am a little old fashioned and LOVE going to the library! I love to take my 2 girls, my son not quite into it yet, but we’ll keep trying🤓

So I saw this new section with Express Reads, you have 1 week to finish the book and no renewal. I thought “oh yeah I could do this, I can read a book in a week” 😏 I had high expectations for myself and thought I could actually finish it… nope 👎🏻 made it only half way 🤨 darn it! I hate it when I fail at something!

But sometimes we have to fail and the important part is we learn from our failure. Granted this is just a very small failure, not finishing a book, really not a big deal but still we learn from failure… therefore I will return the book, pay the $2 fine and stay out of the Express Reads for now.  it’s a Mom’s life and that’s okay, I felt like taking time away from my family to finish a book in time was being selfish, I can always read when they are in bed…if I can stay awake😉